This is What I Know

The Spring We Stayed Home turned into The Quiet Year. The pandemic has only intensified during 2020 and state and work restrictions have kept us grounded. In all, we canceled four family vacations involving air travel this year. We have kept close to home as we learn to better appreciate the simple things of Minnesota life. 

We actually had an incredible midwest summer! We went tubing on the Zumbro, Cannon and Root rivers several times and enjoyed many nice days boating on the Mississippi River. We all love the water, especially when Jason is the captain of a boat and Bereket is being pulled in a tube.

Bereket was thrilled to be able to go back to school in a hybrid learning fashion. She "attended school"  from home three days a week and then physically went to school Thursdays and Fridays, wearing her mask almost the entire day.  In November, when Olmsted County's COVID-19 numbers went up, Bereket and her classmates reverted back to full distance learning. Needless to say, the school situation hasn't been ideal for anyone, but we all try to keep learning and growing.  

Fall brought the heartbreak of canceling our much anticipated trip to Palm Springs, California. We had purchased a travel package two years ago to take Bereket there for her final 3-week fall break. However, travel restrictions meant we had to pivot to a staycation. Fortunately, the weather here was mild and we made some great Minnesota memories.

Bereket, it's time to print some of these memory blogs and put them on paper. The publishing company is having a big sale and today will be the day to send these stories off! 

So for now, I leave you with these final thoughts. The uncertainty of this year has been exhausting. Planning has been impossible. Embracing change is the norm. But these things I know with certainty:

God is good. He loves us and will see us through anything, we just have to rely on him. And, you are loved beyond measure. God loves you and so does your family. We always will. 

In my eyes, there will never be another girl as beautiful, unique and special as you. I am so thankful for my blessing, my Bereket.

  

The Spring We Stayed Home

2020 started off as a year of great promise. As my husband and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary with friends at a downtown happy hour on New Year's Eve, there was a sense of optimism for the months ahead.  We were leaving for a family vacation with Jason's parents in just a few days. The forecast for Cabo San Lucas, Mexico was pure sunshine and we were ready to bask in it.

But that vacation wan't meant to be. A serious illness took a fatal turn for Jason's cousin and we canceled our trip. We tried twice more to re-book our family adventure, this time in coastal California. But both of those trips also ended before they began. Almost every other planned event for the first half of 2020 met a similar fate from seeing Kenny Chesney in concert at U.S. Bank Stadium to simply going to church on a Sunday morning. Once COVID-19 surfaced in America, it became evident that life simply wasn't going to be the same.

For the past couple of months, our state (like most) has been under a Stay at Home order to prevent the spread of the Novel Coronavirus. I am an essential worker, so I leave the house every day to go to work. However, Jason and Bereket stay home. Jason has worked remotely for several years so the main change for him is that Bereket is homeschooling at the kitchen table along side him. It's not an ideal situation for either of them and I'm proud that they're both giving it a shot, even though many days are frustrating.

Only essential businesses are open right now. It has been heartbreaking to watch the small businesses suffer. Agriculture was already hurting before COVID-19, now it is in a tailspin. We wonder which family farms and small businesses will be tough enough or lucky enough to make it through to the other side of all this.

In the uncertainty of our current situation, a lot of people are struggling with anxiety and the blues.  I think we've all felt that. We miss my parents who aren't leaving home right now and wonder when we can hug them once again.

As we learn to take life day by day, I've come to look forward to the simple weekends we spend as a family. The state and county parks were allowed to remain open during the pandemic so we've gone on lots of hikes over the past couple of months, and the weather has been great for that! 

Every weekend I look forward to a fire in the backyard and take out as we try to support our favorite local restaurants. 

This morning, I woke up to a clean kitchen and some lovely Mother's Day decorations. Even though I have no idea when life might look a little more like it used to, I feel blessed.  I am so grateful that Jason, Bereket and I are all in this together.

Home Sweet Snowy Home

It is April 27th and it is snowing...again.

This has been a Minnesota winter only a polar bear would appreciate. Our school district had 10 snow days this winter - 10 of them! We've experienced record setting cold, followed by record setting snow. In fact, after today's snow, we will likely break the seasonal snowfall record.

Last Saturday, we finally opened up the backyard fire pit. It was a glorious Easter weekend with temperatures in the 80's. We spent every moment possible outside, letting the cold and gloom of the last several months fade away from our memory, focusing just on the pleasures of warm weather.

Fast forward to today and the winter coats are out again.

This story may sound like a rant, a shaking of my fist at Mother Nature and her cruel intentions.  But surprisingly, it is something else.

This morning, while the big flakes started falling, Bereket and I snuggled for hours under a pile of blankets watching a Hallmark movie. We had nowhere to be, there was no rush to start the laundry. My only need to get up from the couch was to warm my coffee.

We had plans to go to the movie theater and make a quick run to Trader Joe's. I thought, "time to start the day" as I finally made my way to the workout room, leaving Bereket with a list of chores to do while I was in the basement. She found me 45 minutes later, 3 pages of construction paper in her hands and exclaimed,  "I have a surprise for you!"

I knew this surprise meant that she hadn't touched the laundry in the basket upstairs (despite overhearing her ask Alexa to play "laundry folding songs").

But when I stopped what I was doing to focus on what she had written, I discovered the most beautiful treasures.

I was speechless for a moment, and then I reached out to hug her. "Gross, Mom! You're all sweaty from exercising! Oh, and you better not throw these away!" I promised her I never would.

Bereket's snow day creativity was just getting started. She decided that Jason and I needed a spa day. She had Alexa play relaxing piano music as she gave her daddy a foot massage and a "man's" manicure. She then gave me a mini facial and painted my nails. After our "treatments", Bereket turned out the light so we could nap in our relaxed state of being (two hours later, Jason's nap is still going strong).

Rather than get ready to go out into the cold and a crowded theater (Avengers End Game just came out), I suggested we end our day like we started it, cuddling on the couch. I would make spaghetti. Bereket said that sounded good to her.

While I am writing this, Bereket has loudly rejected her pasta, proclaiming she will not eat another bite after finding a mushroom in the sauce.  Jason will also be disappointed when he sees the sauce has no meat in it.  But that's how families roll even on the best of days. And since I'm certain this will be the final snow day of the season,  I'm ready to find another sappy Hallmark show to watch with my girl.

She Sleeps in Paris

Today when Bereket got off the bus, she walked straight to the kitchen sink to wash off the day's school germs (per her mamma's excellent training) and began to warm herself up a piece of cheese pizza for an after school snack. "Those aren't the clothes I laid out for you last night." I commented looking at a frilly shirt with see-through arms. Bereket replied, "I have my own style."

I work an early shift and rarely get to see Bereket before she gets on the school bus. Lately, almost every day I come home, the clothes I picked out the night before are still in a neat pile on her vanity bench or shoved carelessly into the organizer in her closet - a quiet "no thank you" to mom's idea of what would be a good choice for school.

As I write this, Bereket is intently watching videos on her Kindle, headphones on, oblivious to the fact I am studying her while I write. I am looking at her hair in a cool "messy" style bun on the top of her head. Suddenly it is always in funky pigtails on the sides of her face or some other hairdo she's come up with. In fact, the only help she'll let me give her with her hair is driving her to the salon or flat ironing it if she gets it wet. Otherwise, she handles all the combing, nightly braiding and styling herself. To her credit, she hasn't had a knot in her hair in months.

Oh, there are other changes, too. Her obsession with her collection of makeup she purchased herself at the dollar store (dark blue eye shadow and tangerine lip gloss - and mascara she sneaks from my bathroom cabinet). Her makeup often gets a side smile from strangers we pass on the street or our waitress at dinner. My husband thinks she's way too young to be playing with makeup, but as long as she was washes it off at night, I'm actually o.k. with her self expression.

The signs our girl is growing into "the next phase" go way beyond appearance. She's gotten crazy tall. Her dentist says she needs braces. She occasionally pauses to ask, "How was your day, Mom?" when she gets home from school. And we learned from her teacher that "girl drama" can start in 3rd grade.

But the biggest sign of growing up is that after 7 1/2 years of needing to be cuddled by her mamma every night to fall asleep, she can now suddenly crawl into her brand new big-girl bed all by her herself. She nestles into her Paris-themed pillows and comforter and stays there All Night Long. She doesn't need to reach out and feel that I am near. She doesn't need that anymore.

Today, my boss announced that he was starting to plan for retirement. He got emotional talking about his grandchildren turning 10 and 6. They live out of state and he wants to spend more time with them, time is ticking away just too fast.

Today, I feel his sentiment. I remember just like yesterday the moment Jason and I learned our baby could walk (at Dulles International Airport bringing her home). Now she is preparing to run two more 5K races.  Where did those cute chubby legs go, now so long and lean?

If there was just a pause button...

Tomorrow, a man is coming to pick up Bereket's little girl bed after snapping it up on Craig's List. Our conversation over the phone led me to believe that he might be starting over again after a divorce. He said, "It's just me and my daughter now." Perhaps he would like to turn back time, too. While that isn't possible, I hope his daughter will find delight in the bed my own child never cared to sleep in.

The Gift of Travel and Fellow Travelers

Jason and I have the travel bug and it has taken us around the world. We love seeing new places and experiencing new things. We enjoy meeting the people who live in the destinations we're exploring as well as our fellow travelers. That's why we often choose to stay in bed and breakfasts. We get the "inside scoop" on the best places to eat and explore from our host and get lots of great suggestions from other guests. We also get to learn what life is like in the places our fellow guests call home.

On our recent family vacation to Cozumel, we stayed at a beautiful little guest house. It is in a lively residential / retail neighborhood. But once you unlock the front gate, you enter a tranquil courtyard with a pool and inviting lounge chairs and hammocks. The sounds of busy Cozumel fade into the background.

During our 7 night stay at Baldwin's Guest House, we met so many interesting people from around the world. We stayed up late many nights at the "Monkey Bar" by the pool enjoying learning about their lives. 

We loved to hear our hostess Hannah tell about all the fascinating places she has lived like an Indian reservation in South Dakota, New York City, England and Italy - not to mention her tales of what it is really like running a bed and breakfast on an island.  

We met a former ski racer from Vermont and her entrepreneur father who told us all about the booming craft beer industry there with some of the country's best IPAs (we are already thinking about a Vermont brewery tour!).  We met a former professional New York City ballet dancer now living in Pennsylvania and heard her "stage stories." We got great tips for our time on the island from a retired Maryland couple who comes to Cozumel each winter for a month of diving. We met Megan, a professional dog groomer from Michigan who competes in grooming competitions all over the country.  And we met Leslie, a fascinating man from Florida who shared about his long career managing warehouses for the garment industry. We had differing views on fair trade practices but I appreciated his honest stories about the working conditions of factories he had visited in places like Bangladesh.

One family we encountered during our week really impacted me - a sweet family from Australia who had never planned on an extended stay at the guest house. Casey and Greg have five children and very busy lives in Melbourne. Their middle child, Kai lives with a lot of health problems and after a stressful year of tests and doctor's visits, this family needed a break. Casey and Greg booked a "dream vacation" to Florida that would start with a Disney cruise. They were taking their three youngest children (all boys between the ages of 8 and 17). This trip was their way of trying to create a brighter and more hopeful year in 2019.  

On the first day of their much-anticipated cruise, Kai got sick. The ship doctors determined the family should abort their cruise and Kai was checked into the hospital in Cozumel.  The hospital that has contracts with all the cruise lines is less than two blocks from Baldwin's. The Australians soon traded their ship cabin for a casita on the property. Bereket was happy to see another child and began playing hide and seek with the family's youngest son, Owen.

Kai was discharged after a couple of days and joined us at the guest house, but the disappointment over a ruined dream vacation was about to turn into overwhelming stress. The family had very carefully purchased travel insurance for their trip, including a special policy to cover their son. But because of pre-existing health conditions, the insurance company was refusing to pay the $100,000 hospital bill. The family would not be allowed to leave the island until they came up with the money.

We prayed for the family a lot and checked in with them for any updates. We bought them a gift at a nearby chocolate factory we visited (chocolate therapy).  They were in my mind and heart constantly. I asked people at my church to pray for them.

Then came the good news that the insurance company was going to reverse their decision and pay the bill, but the family would need to leave the island immediately. The exhausted parents were not ready for the big journey ahead but got on the phone with their travel agent. Eventually, the insurance company granted them a few days in Florida for rest before the long plane rides home.

On their last night, we knocked on the door of the family's casita with a small bottle of sparkling wine in hand. Greg said they had something better and pulled a larger bottle of more expensive champagne out of their fridge. They had ordered it from Disney as part of a special welcome amenity for their cruise.  We all went to the Monkey Bar and I found Hannah to come celebrate with us. For an hour, we were all just on a normal vacation, laughing and sharing life stories...enjoying the special gift of new friendships that never would have been possible without travel.

The next morning, we knocked on our new friends' door and said goodbye. We exchanged hugs and email addresses. I will check in with them next week to see how their journey home was.

The Australians weren't alone in having disrupted cruise vacations. Our new friends Leslie from Florida and Megan from Michigan were also staying at Baldwin's because they had loved ones in the hospital following cruise ship illnesses.  They were navigating life's unexpected challenges in a place they had never planned on staying.

I am so thankful for these new friends and the stories they shared. I will never forget Casey and Greg and their courage. They were determined to make "lemonade" out of the few days in Florida they were granted before heading home (out of the month-long journey they had planned).

The most carefully made plans can crumble at the most disappointing of times. Our new friends showed incredible grace under such circumstances. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn from their example.  

Girl on the Run

A few years ago, my husband and I were enjoying catching up with some friends that live near Durango, Colorado. We started talking about Bereket and I wondered aloud, as I often have, if she might one day be a runner. My friend is a guidance counselor and she raved about Girls on the Run, a program designed to help girls fall in love with running while developing self esteem and learning to make good life choices. I had never heard of it before and wished it was available where we live.

Just over a year later, we got an email from Bereket's school saying that they were going to start a Girls on the Run program. I wished I could sign her up immediately, but she was only in 2nd grade and the program is for grades 3-5.

Bereket was finally old enough to take part in August of this year. She was part of a group of 20 girls and 6 coaches that ran together every Monday and Wednesday after school from August - November (with three weeks off for their fall break). When I picked her up, I often witnessed the end of each session. The girls enjoyed spirit awards and a joyful team chant of "Girls on the Run is so much fun!"

Bereket has loved every little thing about this group, from the yummy after school snacks to the service project to of course - the running. She came home from her first day with an arm filled with magic marker "warrior" stripes - one for each lap she ran that afternoon.

Bereket began setting goals for herself each practice session. Her principal ran with her one day and she was up for the challenge, keeping his pace every step of the way. That afternoon on the drive home, Bereket and I talked about where she was born and the gifted runners that come from Ethiopia. We talked about meeting Haile Gebrselassie during our Ethiopian vacation in January. He is widely considered to be the greatest distance runner in history. How blessed we were to encounter him in one of the hotels he owns.

Through Girls on the Run, Bereket has now completed two 5K runs with Jason, her adult running partner.  The first was a practice 5K outside her school on a blissful, warm September day. Jason had to work to keep up with her :)

The big Mall of America Girls on the Run 5K wrapped up the season this past Saturday. It was crazy cold that morning!!! The organizers worked hard to make the event exciting in spite of the temperature. There was loud music and fun photo booths for the 1,700 young female runners and their adult running buddies. The girls on Bereket's team wore fun capes they had designed.

Bereket's toes began to hurt from the cold shortly before her turn at the starting line. Running was painful for her and she had to stop a few times because of it. After she crossed the finish line, she buried her head in my chest in tears. She was upset about the pain, and even worse the disappointment of not running at her full potential.

We went inside the mall to warm up, and her tears stopped after the promise of  one ride at Nickelodeon Universe.  We then celebrated with a family meal at a mall restaurant.

I am so proud of my Girl on the Run. I am so thankful her school has this program. I am also grateful to the 6 women who have volunteered so much of their time as her coaches.

I am most proud that she stuck through a tough race and crossed the finish line in spite of the pain and disappointment. If she keeps that spirit in life, she will do just fine.   

How Sweet It Is

Bereket turned 8 recently. She's all about friends, phones, music videos, resisting suggestions from her parents and candy. Actually it's more like CANDY. After several cavities, it's a semi-forbidden fruit in our home, especially the sticky stuff. And boy, does our little one crave it!

One evening this spring, Bereket asked to do some homework on my laptop. When I later looked at the search history, I discovered she had abandoned the math program she was supposed to be doing and instead was googling "World's Largest Candy Store." It made me chuckle a bit.

Shortly after Bereket's internet escapade, I learned that Minnesota had a sweet spot of its own that has a huge following. Simply called "Minnesota's Largest Candy Store," the Jordan based business has more than 50,000 Facebook followers. As I looked at TripAdvisor reviews, the idea of a mystery birthday trip came together in my mind. I could just picture Bereket and her 3 cousins posing near the big yellow billboard that so many others had posted images of online.

It's hard for Bereket to wait when surprises are involved. She made it all the way to the morning of the big event (May 26th) when she intercepted some secret communication about the plan. When she saw the word "candy store" in a text, she was over the moon. Jason and I gave her $10 in spending money for the trip (plus $2 I owed her from raiding her piggy bank in an emergency) and she got busy organizing the cash in her wallet and calculating what she might need for tax.

It takes a good hour and 45 minutes to get to Jordan from our home. We passed the time by playing a guessing game about the destination of our mystery trip (Bereket's cousins still didn't know where we were headed and they asked her question after question trying to figure it out). We also stopped for lunch at the Dairy Inn in Cannon Falls.

When we finally made it to the candy store, we were all amazed. It was huge and bright yellow in color. A billboard advertised 150 varieties of root beer.

We spent almost two hours exploring the aisles of sweets and treats from around the world and we still only saw a fraction of what was there. Even my husband who despises shopping had a fun time checking out the confections.

Bereket was thrilled to discover chocolate lipsticks!

Nils shows his strength.

On the way home, we ate some of our purchases and stopped for an ice cream cone. We stretched our legs at a beach and let our feet cool off in the water. At home, Bereket opened a few presents from Granny and the kids. It was a beautiful (and hot) day. I am so thankful for this sweet escape from reality to celebrate our spunky girl.