Learning to be Thankful in the Wait

The other day I was driving my three minute commute home from work when I remembered I had to go to Target.  The doctor had sent in a prescription for Bereket "just in case" she would have tummy troubles on our upcoming winter vacation to Jamaica.  There were a few other things I needed to pick up, too. I sighed. I was tired and wanted to go home. The last thing I wanted to do was push a big orange cart around the busy aisles.

When I got to the store, I headed straight for the Starbucks counter.  I decided treating myself to a light mocha frappuccino would make the experience a little more tolerable.  Then I scoped out the pharmacy line. It was long. I sighed again and did the rest of my shopping hoping the line would be shorter when I was finished. It wasn't.

I waited in the cramped aisles around the pharmacy for about 20 minutes.  As I sipped on my Starbucks drink, I felt myself growing more and more impatient. Was someone on a lunch break? Why did it always seem there was a backup when I needed to pick up a prescription?

Finally it was my turn.  They found B's medication right away, but we had changed insurance policies recently. It would be another 10 minutes to process her new information. Then I was asked to speak with a pharmacist. I noticed the large size of the bottle right away. It was definitely more than 3.4 ounces. We had not planned on checking our bags for our trip. The pharmacist smiled and said, "Maybe the TSA will let you through with it."

I tried to smile through all the waiting, but I don't know how convincing I was. On the way home, I wished I was a more patient person.  I thought of all the people in the world who walked miles to see a doctor. I thought of the millions who die of simple diseases that could have been cured or even prevented, if they just had access to medicine. Here I was impatient that I had to wait 30 minutes for something that hopefully I will never even have to give my child.

Monday will mark three years to the day we learned our sweet baby Terefech had died of Pneumonia in Ethiopia.  She had been brought to a hospital too late and spent 9 horrible days in the very primitive facility.  She was in a battle for her life that she ultimately lost.  A simple flu shot or the right antibiotic could have saved her life.  I get a flu shot in the comfort of my place of work every year...for free.

We learned that Terefech had died of Pneumonia on January 13, 2011.

According to the CDC and several other sources, Pneumonia and the flu are the number one cause of death in Ethiopia.  Right up there: Diarrheal diseases, Malaria, and Tuberculosis. All of these can be treated or even prevented with medication.  Think of the millions of children who would not be orphans today if their mother or father had simply been given the right medication.

When we were on our second trip to Ethiopia to bring Bereket home, I asked if we could visit a medical clinic in Addis Ababa that our adoption agency financially supported.  It is a clinic for mothers and babies. In the back of the building, there is a courtyard. The line of women holding their sick babies waiting to see a doctor or nurse extended in a circle around the courtyard several times.

Our agency no longer processes Ethiopian adoptions. I wonder if the Sipara clinic still gets all the financial support it needs to help these women and their babies.

Visiting the clinic for mothers and their children with Bereket in Addis Ababa in October 2011.

How blessed I am to live in a community that is actually often called, "The Med City" because of our easy access to some of the best healthcare in the world.  The skilled hands of some of the top cardiologists and surgeons even saved my mother's life this past summer.

Lord, the next time I am waiting in line at the pharmacy or the doctor's office, help me to remember how blessed I am. And help me never to forget those in the world without easy access to medicine and healthcare.

When it is Time for the Tree to Come Down

As I sit at my kitchen table, I look at our little "Charlie Brown" Christmas tree across the room. It stands on the landing at the top of the stairs, visible through the windows near our door to anyone who drives by.  It is a simple artificial tree decorated mostly with ornaments we got as wedding presents. A few are from our travels.

A handmade ornament from our trip to Guatemala

At the top sits a little rag doll we bought on our first trip to Ethiopia.  Her name is Kokeb, after Bereket's best friend in her orphanage. We started using this doll as a tree topper while Kokeb's parents were waiting to bring her home. It was a reminder to pray for their family and their little girl.  Three Christmases later, there is no angel I would rather have at the top of our tree.

Our Kokeb angel

I am a person who thrives on simplicity. Sometimes I have taken that to extremes.  Like the year I just decorated the tree with lights and our Kokeb angel and left the ornaments in their box. My sweet niece and nephew politely told me my tree was "very boring."  They were right! (Especially after seeing it immediately after the glamorous ones at the Festival of Trees.)  But I just smiled at them thinking how come January 1st, I would be able to take my tree down and have it hidden away in its box in the basement closet in less than 10 minutes.  And it was a good feeling come New Year's Day.

When we came home from our Christmas travels this year, within an hour I had finished my holiday toy purge. If Bereket hadn't played with a toy in 6 months, it was put in the box of "misfit toys" headed for a new life in a new home. I could feel the peace of organization as order was restored to our living room.

So I am surprising myself today that here it is, January 4th and I have no desire to take down our little tree.  Jason has mentioned it a few times, but I have been pretending not to hear. How unlike me! That tree should have come down three days ago!

I think I am afraid to let go of the magic of the holidays.  Perhaps I need that magic to get me through the historic cold temperatures forecasted for next week. It will be so cold, the governor has actually canceled school all across the state for Monday which only happens about once every twenty years. 

If you were to see our little tree, "magic" is likely the last word that would come to mind. But you haven't seen Bereket race to it in the morning. Plugging in the lights is the first thing she does after getting out of bed.  It is the first thing she does in the afternoon when she gets home from daycare.  And then there are the simple additions of ornaments made in daycare or at AWANA that are so much more than construction paper.

The ornament Bereket made in AWANA this year.

Christmas 2013 will now live on in pictures and in the gift of baby Jesus. You don't need a tree to enjoy the beauty of those.  But still I linger and stall this weekend at the thought of taking it down.

Bereket and her baby doll modeling their new Christmas dresses from Grandma in front of the tree.

10 Years After "I Do"

My mom always said, "When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start right away."  I guess that was the case for Jason and me.  We started dating in August of 2002 and he proposed in a castle in Ireland in March of 2003.  All the venues for that summer were already booked and even though I'd always imagined an outdoor summer wedding, the thought of waiting until 2004 seemed unimaginable.  So we came up with the next best thing, a New Year's Eve wedding! It was a beautiful night of friends, family, dancing, and all the fun of counting down to a new year and a new life together filled with endless possibilities. And all that fun was on a Wednesday night!

December 31, 2003

I suppose when most couples reach this milestone, they can't believe how quickly ten years have passed.  Yes, it has been crazy fast. We try to do something special each year around our anniversary to reflect on all that's happened and where we're going.

Celebrating our 2nd Anniversary at the Anderson House in Wabasha. The dress I wore was a bridesmaid's dress from our wedding!

Celebrating our 6th Anniversary at the Hotel Ruby Marie in Madison, WI

There have been incredible highs.  Most of them involved travel.  Jason and I have trekked through Europe, the Middle East, Asia, South and Central America and even spent a sun-filled week on a sailboat in the Grenadines.

Exploring the San Blas Islands in Panama in 2009

Hiking in the south of Spain in 2008

Of course, our biggest travel highs were our two trips to Africa to bring home our beautiful daughter.

First trip to Ethiopia, June 2011

Second trip to Ethiopia, October 2011

There have also been lows, the kind that you hope you'll never encounter when you promise "for better or for worse."  The first, and one of the most terrifying, was almost losing my sister as she battled Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. She endured the worst of treatments all during our engagement and had to wear a wig at our wedding. A friend who had never met her actually commented how much she loved my sister's hair that night. I think she looked beautiful, too!

Julie reading her touching Matron of Honor speech at our wedding

We also made it through the heartbreaking loss of Baby Terefech.  Three years later, I am still shaken by the frailty of this life. We really must treasure every day.

Fragile Baby Terefech passed away in southern Ethiopia from Pneumonia in January 2011 before she could join our family

In early June, Jason and I will take our first trip without Bereket to properly celebrate ten years of marriage.  We'll hop on a plane for a whirlwind 3-night escape to a romantic bed and breakfast in Moab, Utah.  I have already spent hours studying hiking maps and adventure outfitters. Until that much anticipated trip, we celebrated in a smaller way last night by going for dinner at a nice downtown restaurant and then taking a Christmas lights trolley tour of historic southwest Rochester. Sounds romantic, doesn't it? Not a bit!  Our three-year-old was along and she was so excited to ride a "bus," she refused to eat any dinner and begged the entire meal to get on the "bus" now! As soon we were on the trolly, she was "starving" because she wouldn't eat dinner.  After devouring some fruit snacks, she fell asleep for the rest of the trip...then woke up delirious and screamed the whole way home.  We still had a good time and enjoyed seeing a different part of our city all lit up for Christmas.

Family photo before Little B. fell asleep on the trolly

I have so many dreams for the future. There is so much to see and experience in the world and not nearly enough time to do it all.  The past ten years have taught us that there will likely be tough and unexpected bumps in the road ahead.  Here's to a new decade of taking life one day at a time, together.

She and Me...Missing He

It's the weekend many people are traveling "home" for the holidays. Bereket and I are so anxious to take our own trip up to MSP International tomorrow to bring home our special traveler. Jason has been away to India on a 16 day business trip.  That's half a month, but for a threesome that has never been apart for more than 24 hours since we became a family, the prospect of this journey felt more like 3 months.

The note Jason left for us on the kitchen counter the day he left.

On the first night of Jason being away, I sat Bereket on my lap and we looked up a picture of Mumbai on the internet.

Bereket studied the picture of the world's 4th largest city for a moment. Her attention was focused on the tall sparkly skyscraper. "Castle! Dee-Dah in a castle!" she exclaimed! In her eyes, Dee-Dah was in a fairytale land living with princesses in the most fantastic castle. Such a lucky man to get to do that for two weeks!

As for me, the past two weeks have not always been a fairytale. It's not easy for me to "be on vacation" at home and I've taken a lot of time off work (as Bereket's daycare doesn't open until 7 a.m. and I go to work at 4 a.m.) So I've gotten a taste of what life is like as a stay-at-home mom.  We've had some incredible play dates with friends who stay at home with their children.  Bereket especially enjoyed meeting up with Kokeb, her special roommate from Ethiopia and her oldest friend.

We had a blast with Kokeb's family at the La Crosse Children's Museum.

We also planned a special outing with Bereket's cousins, Isabelle and Daniel. I can't believe I took all three of them by myself to the Mall of America during the busy Christmas season!  But lunch at the American Girl Bistro was worth every minute of the journey!

I enjoyed some festive time with my mom, sister and Isabelle as we took the Christmas Inn tour in our hometown for the first time. So beautiful..especially after a fresh snow.

And each day there were small adventures that were so big in my little girl's eyes.  She had her 2nd haircut and she didn't cry a single tear!

Bereket did so great during her haircut, she got a special reward: a trip to see the new Disney movie, "Frozen." Afterward, we went out for Thai food for the first time together.

Bereket had her first Christmas concert at church.  My extremely shy girl got up in front of the crowd and smiled brightly the whole time.  I was so proud of her! I just wish Jason could have been there.

There are two things that helped get us all through the past two weeks.  First, my mom stayed with us 4 nights so I could go to work two days each week.  It was such a blessing having her here and it was so much fun to watch her relationship with Bereket blossom.

Secondly, Skype. It wasn't always easy connecting with each other with an 11.5 hour time difference..and Bereket didn't always feel like chatting..but how wonderful to see Jason's face (and even offer him a cup of tea and some ice cream from B's little play set).

Tomorrow at this time, we will be three again.  I have learned and grown such much during this time apart.  I appreciate Jason and all he does for us now more than ever.

I hope the next time we are separated this long again won't be until it's time for little B. to go off to college.

Welcome home, Jason. We missed you!

Trees, Turkeys and the Flu

We never had a set plan for Thanksgiving growing up. Each year we ended up around a different table with different relatives. Sometimes we even met Auntie Bev or Julie and Keith at a restaurant that was half way between us.  Four years ago, Thanksgiving ended up at my place. And it stayed here! In fact, thanks to our new traditions, it is now my favorite holiday of the year.

We always start the day by meeting up at the Festival of Trees. It is quiet on Thanksgiving morning and it feels like we have all the magic to ourselves. We don't have to worry as the children run from tree to tree, because there is no one to bump into!

This year our holiday adventure was a quieter one though. The flu had hit my sister's home hard. Isabelle was the only one healthy enough to come. Our happy party of 10 was reduced to 6. So two kids instead of four held hands as they went in search of their very favorite trees.

They even posed so sweetly in front of one until I could get just the right photo. And I did!

They did a little shopping in the toy store.

And we all had sugar cookies and apple cider.

Back at my place, we had lunch and then came adventure number two!  We have always enjoyed some pretty crazy board games after the meal, but last year I added a family craft to the mix.  We all got a little creative around the kitchen table again this year.

I had purchased little cardboard turkeys. After decorating the birds with markers and stickers, we put something we were thankful for on each of it's feathers.

I'll admit Dad looked a little scared at first about having to do a craft (he got to sit that part out last year and watch football). But his was the very best one!  Here's a look at what he is thankful for this year:

Ruth, Jessica, Jason, Bereket, Isabelle, Julie, Keith, Daniel, Nils, Home, Health, Country, Trains, Church and Friends.  

Here's what Mom is thankful for:

Papa's car, Music, Animals, Jesus, Christmas, Easter, Papa, Jason's Job, Family, Autumn and Winter, and $1,000 in the bank.

Isabelle, our budding evangelist, had a very thoughtful list:

Life, Family, Love, Jesus on the Cross, God Making Us, The Bible, Work, Everything and Everyone.

And last, but not least, a look at Little B's list:

Christmas Tree, Pumpkin Bread, Princesses, Dee Dah, Mommy, AWANA, Ice Cream and Yogurt.

Looking at our lists, there are some things that surprised me.  Mom really doesn't love Papa's car. With her long legs, she wanted an SUV, not a sedan. But she appreciates reliable transportation.  Dad didn't put Black Angus Cattle on his list, even though that has been his life's work and he is one of the most respected cattlemen in the country.  Isabelle didn't put Violin or Piano on her list, even though she spends a few hours each day practicing and developing her incredible talent.  And as for Bereket, I guess I am most surprised that she put yogurt at the bottom of her list. Given her passion for yogurt, one would think it would be the very first feather!

I am so thankful for another day with these beautiful people.  It wasn't the same without Julie, Keith, Daniel and Nils. We sent leftovers and craft kits home with Isabelle so they could reflect on the blessings they've had this year, too.  We all have much to be thankful for.

White Wedding Cake

Sometimes something so simple becomes something extraordinary.  That happened today. It only lasted a moment, but it was magic. I'm writing it all down so I won't forget that little bit of bliss, and so that one day Bereket can read this and know something special happened to her, too.

For Bereket's 3rd birthday, my dear friend Jolene (one of Bereket's two amazing godmothers) gave her a gift certificate to The Children's Theatre Company in Minneapolis. Since Jason is away hunting in Wisconsin this weekend, it was the perfect time to use it for a girl's day out. I couldn't believe my good luck when I got front row tickets for the three of us to see Cinderella.

Jolene wanted to make the day extra special so she got us reservations for brunch at Hell's Kitchen, one of the most popular restaurants in Minneapolis. I had always wanted to eat there and the food and atmosphere didn't disappoint.  But my sweet, strong willed three-year-old reminded us throughout the entire meal that she has her own ideas about things...refusing to try even a bite of her lemon ricotta pancake (she has no idea what she missed out on!) and then refusing the french fries we ordered as a replacement and then deciding that sitting under the table was way cooler than sitting on her seat.  No, taking a day trip to Minneapolis with a preschooler isn't a recipe for perfection. Or is it?

Jolene and I had read incredible reviews of the production, but they had not prepared us for the creative, modern, colorful, hilarious spin on Cinderella we were about to experience.  Bereket was on the edge of her seat the entire time and Jolene and I were just as enchanted.

When Cinderella had been released from the closet her evil stepmother and stepsisters had locked her in, and showed the king's servant her glass slipper, I found myself sad the fairytale was about to end.  Little did I know it was just coming to life.

In the final scene, Cinderella appears at the top of the stairs in an exquisite white gown. It is her wedding day to the prince.  I could feel Bereket holding her breath in awe on my lap. After Cinderella and the prince exchanged sparkling rings, a huge white wedding cake was rolled onto the stage.  That's when something magical happened.  Cinderella and her prince cut the cake. Then Cinderella paused. She turned her head and looked right at Bereket and smiled. Then she bent down and handed Bereket a piece of her royal wedding cake.

Jolene looked at me with tears in her eyes.  There were tears in mine, too.  Jolene said, "It is so perfect!" And it was. Is there anything more beautiful than seeing Cinderella pause in the middle of her wedding to give your princess-obsessed child a piece of cake? 

As the curtain was coming down on this very special moment, Cinderella made eye contact with Bereket one last time and gave her a little smile.  Jolene and I melted again.

I think we were all floating a bit as we left the auditorium, but by the time we reached the front door,  reality had returned.  My strong willed child refused to put her coat on.  We had a potty training accident in the car seat on the way home.  Still, my heart is warm and thankful as I write this.

Bereket clenched the piece of cake in it's wax paper wrapper all the way home in her little fist.  It was a little mushy by the time we unwrapped it and she could finally have her special treat at the kitchen table.  But as I looked at the table smeared with white frosting and watched Bereket lick every last bit from her fingers, it was proof that something magical had indeed happened. And it happened to my little girl.

And it was perfect.